What to Do After Sexual Assault: Finding Safety, Support & Your Next Step in Madison

If you or someone you care about has experienced sexual assault, you may be wondering what you are supposed to do next.  The truth is, there is no single right way to respond.  You may want medical care. You may want to talk to an advocate. You may want to report. You may not want to report. You may want to be alone. You may want someone beside you. You may know exactly what you want—or you may have absolutely no idea.

All of those responses are okay.

If you are in Madison or Dane County, there are people and organizations available to help you understand your options without making those decisions for you.

Start with safety—not everything else

If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or get somewhere you feel safer, such as a friend’s home, a public place, or another location away from the person who harmed you. If you are no longer in immediate danger but still don’t feel safe, think about what would help you get through the next few minutes or hours.

You might ask:

• Am I somewhere safe right now?
• Is the person who harmed me still nearby?
• Is there someone I trust who can come be with me?
• Do I need medical attention?
• Would I feel safer talking with an advocate?
• Do I need help finding somewhere to stay, transportation, or another immediate resource?

You do not have to figure out the entire situation tonight. Sometimes the first step is simply getting through the next hour.

If someone tells you they were assaulted

If you are the person a survivor chooses to tell, your response can matter enormously.  You don’t need to be an expert. You don’t need to know what happened or understand every detail. And you don’t need to fix it.  Start with simple, supportive words:

“I believe you.”

“This was not your fault.”

“I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

For many survivors, telling someone is incredibly difficult. They may already be worried that they won’t be believed, that someone will blame them, or that they’ll be pressured into reporting or doing something they aren’t ready to do. Try not to take over. Instead of saying, “If I were you, I would…”, try asking:

“What would feel helpful right now?”  And if they say, “I don’t know,” that’s okay.

You can simply say, “That’s okay. We can figure out the next step together.”

Your job isn’t to make the decisions for them. Your job can be to help make sure they don’t have to navigate the next step alone.

Madison has people who can help (Resources For Sexual Assault Survivors in Madison)

In Dane County, RCC: Sexual Violence Resource Center provides trauma-informed advocacy, emotional support, medical advocacy, legal advocacy, and connections to other community resources. Their advocates can help survivors understand their options without telling them what decision to make.

RCC’s helpline is available 24/7 at 608-251-7273, and they also offer a confidential 24/7 text line at the same number. Spanish-language support is available at 608-258-2567.

RCC also provides support for students at UW-Madison, Edgewood College, and Madison College.

And there is another way to start.

You don’t have to know which service you need

One of the hardest parts of getting help after sexual violence can be figuring out where to start.

Do you need medical care? An advocate? A forensic exam? Counseling? Legal information? Transportation? Help understanding your reporting options?

Maybe more than one of these. Maybe none of them right now.

That’s where Hazel Helps can help.

Hazel is designed to make finding support less overwhelming. Through (this website,) www.hazelhelps.me, survivors can connect with resources and providers, explore their options, and take the next step when they are ready. You don’t have to know exactly what you’re looking for before you begin. You can start with a question.

What about a forensic exam?

If the assault happened recently, you may be considering a medical or forensic exam.

A forensic exam can address both your physical health and, when appropriate, the collection and preservation of evidence. In Dane County, survivors can access trained forensic nurse services through local programs, like DaneMAC, www.danecenter.org. RCC advocates can help explain the options and provide support through the process.

You may have heard that you should avoid showering, changing clothes, brushing your teeth, eating, drinking, or using the bathroom after an assault because doing so can potentially affect evidence collection. But here’s something important:

If you’ve already showered, changed your clothes, eaten, brushed your teeth, or done any of those things, you can still seek care.

You have not ruined your options. You can decide what happens next.

You are allowed to change your mind

You might think you want to report and later decide you don’t. You might not want to report today but want to learn about reporting options. You might want medical care without talking to law enforcement. You might want an advocate but not counseling. You might want someone to simply listen. Your choices belong to you. A survivor-centered response means giving you information, respecting your decisions, and allowing you to move at a pace that feels manageable.

Start wherever you are

After sexual assault, there can be enormous pressure to know what to do next.

You don’t have to. You don’t have to have the right words. You don’t have to tell the whole story. You don’t have to make every decision today. And you don’t have to navigate Madison’s network of services by yourself.

Start with safety. Find someone you trust. Ask a question. Talk with an advocate. Explore your options through Hazel Helps.

One small step is still a step.

You are not to blame.
You are not alone.
And support is available.

Visit www.hazelhelps.me to begin exploring support and resources in Madison and Dane County.